the problems started when bats began diving at the car on the 46 cutting over from the 5 to the 101. i'm fairly sure the bats were real, and that the 23 small purple elves and double headed cactus demon (straight out of pj o'rourke) weren't. still, they were an experience shared by me (driving two days and running 103° fever) and amity (who was having legitimate acid flashbacks). they weren't shared by my pdx roommate, mike. he was in the back seat, missing out on all the hallucinations and the sense of safety and sanity he had recently left behind in portland. i was headed for really sick and didn't know it yet; all i knew was that i was the only one that could drive a stick and that meant i was fucking well not going to be sick. we had gone in the pursuit of mindless fun and mere physiology was not going to stand in our way.
the hallucinations were fun too, til the leprechaun at the 101 junction. because, damnit, something was there. we both saw it. damnit.
from that moment i can't remember anything til;
the next day we were sitting in souplantation in brentwood and there was no denying my deep abiding fuckupedness. still hallucinating and trying to listen to the conversation my vision became crosswired; i looked out the window and saw a flock of egos coasting by in the sky. to this day i can't properly describe them. nebulous white fluffy but fairly uncloudlike and with tiny wings on the side, flapping furiously as they headed towards the pacific. it was then that i knew without a doubt i was terribly terribly ill. my bladder and stomach began to offer up their contents simultaneously. there is a point where you know all you can do is reach a receptacle with all haste, that there is no value in trying to provide for your comfort enroute; i ran to the bathroom. i reached the stall and began retching, in a powerful full body kind of way. it was quick, and terrible. afterwards, two days travel clinging to my body and hair hanging down around my face and a single line of spittle still attached to my lip i made my way to the sink to clean up.
there was a blond woman sharing the bathroom with me. she had accompanied her friend and was waiting outside the stall. she ignored my tainted presence with a palpable extruded force that came from her whole body. i washed up in silence for a while. finally, needing to break the tension i looked up at her from the sink and said
"stay away from the caesar salad."
she did not look at me. she stood silent for another few seconds. she announced to wendy (still inside the stall) that she would wait for her outside.
on our way out of the restaurant we peeked over their shoulders. neither woman was having the caesar salad.