god hates me
or
how i learned i was on my own

twas the summer of '93 and i was living the high life in my boyfriend's dormroom at UCSB in sunny (fucking always sunny) southern california. life at this point had not turned out the way it was supposed to. i had never envisioned myself paying my rent via six packs of milwaukee best left on my boyfriend's roommate bunk. nevertheless i was learning valuable truths, ie even in the worst of situations there's nothing like usenet to distract you from your soul crushing boredom and depression.

i was also learning that college boys from the midwest could make a bong out of absolutely anything. it was fortunate that they did so often though, because six months had gone by without anyone noticing i lived there.

still, everything had been really tough on me... there'd really been no breaks in the bad luck. one day jeremy (that was the boyfriend) and i decided to have an afternoon out- get away from the dorms, the troubles, all of it, and spent some time with each other. we gathered ourselves a small feast of a roast chicken, bread and fruit and got settled in for a cozy picnic. i can't remember if weather struck, or insects or what but eventually we retreated back to the wonder datsun and finished our meal in the security of the car. there was nothing left but the wishbone of the chicken- and we each grabbed an end. independently we wished for the same thing, we wished that the tough times would let up for me, that life would just get a little kinder. and we pulled.

both ends broke short and the middle bit flicked into my eye.

life did eventually get better, but not til i turned to the dark side.

ambiguous quinn